Grammar Battles – The Onslaught of Facebookisms

Yes, you will laugh yourself to your grave. English, you say? A glance through profiles, comments and updates on Facebook confirms the death of the usage of proper grammar. Add to that a barrage of social media slangs! It’s rather mundane; the same people doing the same thing day after day. What is equally irksome is the frequent status updates that people make on their Facebook profiles. Adding to that is the location finder that allows users to ‘check in’ to places. The truth here is – no one actually cares if you have had a cappuccino or a cocktail for breakfast or if your heart has been broken by your guy/girl (you have made that obvious by changing your status to ‘single’ and posted your favorite Taylor Swift song on your wall, yes wall – not made of bricks though). If this is enough to get to you, read on and you will understand how Facebook language has taken over the world.

No Kill Bill here, its Kill Grammar

William Shakespeare is sure to be pretty annoyed looking down from paradise. After all the effort to teach the world to speak correct English, Facebook slang has rendered it corrupt! It’s all over the place, the grammar I mean! Verbs and nouns are used interchangeably and the rules of grammar are tossed into the dustbin. Freedom of expression is the culprit here.

I came across a comment where a girl was complaining about a country bombing Libya. However, Libya was spelt as ‘Labia.’ One cannot help but laugh out super loud at such instances where spellings and grammar are murdered.

Another common trend among users is the shortening of words – Know becomes ‘knw’, happened is spelt as ‘hpnd’ and welcome as ‘wlcum.’ No wonder there are certain people have a good dig at other users in such cases. Facebook language, while it may seem cool to use, is actually responsible for undoing what our grammarians have toiled over.

A certain post on Facebook about country music had garnered quite a number of comments. Some commented on liking it while others differed. What caught my attention was the comment made by a user who forgot to punctuate his sentence. This is what he wrote;

“I like country dick.” This was the comment by a guy in response to the writer of the post whose name happened to be Dick. (The writer actually meant that he likes country music and was conveying the same to a person by the name Dick)

The reply to this was apt and hilarious.

“I’m really hoping you just forgot a comma.” (reply from another guy)

Just see the blunder caused by missing out on the use of a comma.

The Oldie Assassination

While we love our oldies, this group of people are quite an annoying bunch on FB. Here’s my apology to all the grandads and nanas on the social media site, but do you really have to go overboard ALL the time. I understand the whole thing of ‘love and bonding’ but do you have to upload EVERY SINGLE photo of your grandchild and then follow it up with a TWO PARAGRAPH comment? Please spare us.

Pic away – all that you can

Yes, we all love the limelight. Give a teenager a camera today and voila! One hundred pictures uploaded on Facebook. The funny part is 90 out of the 100 photos taken are selfies of the same person in twenty different outfits, in 30 different poses and carrying 50 different expressions. While the male folk cannot be left out, trust the girls out there to splash the site with loads of photos, each with a label; ‘morning pic,’ ‘pout face pic,’ and yes, the list is exhausting. I call these people the ‘flashbulbs’ of Facebook. After all, pics are put up at such speed that it would put The Flash to shame.

The Blah – blah types

This is the ‘no-brain yet endless talk’ group! Sounds ridiculous right? The fact is that there are such people who pick up a topic of an article or comment or its very first line and then begin giving their advice on the matter. There is no reading involved, just pure assumption. In most cases, the comments are in stark contrast to what article actually deals with. Oh, these people carry such a pompous nature but the truth is that they lack patience and common sense. As a result, many issues get blown out of proportion. Watch out for such people.

‘Awwws’ and ‘LOLers’

Mommy has just posted a picture of her newborn. What follows? Endless ‘awwws’ and ‘cho cweet.’ People use ‘awwws’ as and when needed – when the picture of a baby or pet is uploaded or whenever they just feel like. It is like dropping a bomb, the ‘awww’ bomb. On the other hand, we have the compulsive ‘LOLers.’ What would one find after a hilarious post or if a friend makes a blooper on FB? The expressive LOL. However, do you guys actually laugh that loud? If you do, consider the eardrums of the people around you!

Slangin’ and bangin’ the language

The meaning of words has changed considerably down the ages. The word ‘busted’ would mean ‘broken’ to our grandparents. It meaning ‘being caught’ in the 19th century and is now used as an alternative/ or to express ‘ugliness.’

New terms like ‘my bad’ have been coined. This is typically used as an apology when a person makes an error. Social media abbreviations like IDK (I don’t know), CRE8 (create) and TL; DR (too long, didn’t read) are used in tandem, making it oh so popular.

I shall rest my case now. While the world has benefitted much from the social media site, the rules and regulations pertaining to the usage of the English language have seriously been ‘whacked out of the park.’ If you happen to be a religious user of social media site, it would do you a lot of good if you go easy on the Facebookisms.